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	<title>News &#8211; Garbridge University</title>
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	<title>News &#8211; Garbridge University</title>
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		<title>DOGE Cuts Threaten Oil-Driller-to-Astronaut Program</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/doge-cuts-threaten-oil-driller-to-astronaut-program/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 06 Mar 2025 15:41:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=1261</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Garbridge University&#8217;s oil-driller-to-astronaut training program faces an uncertain future following recent budget cuts by the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE). The program, designed to equip oil drillers with the skills necessary to save Earth, has been a point of pride for the university. Students in the program question the logic of reducing funding for a [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>&#8220;Take a Nap When You Are Grumpy&#8221; Says Visiting Political Science Lecturer</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/take-a-nap-when-you-are-grumpy-says-visiting-political-science-lecturer/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 22 Feb 2025 23:25:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[University Life]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=1256</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Guest lecturer and kindergarten student, Annie Mae, offered future leaders perspective they&#8217;ll likely ignore. Speaking at Garbridge University&#8217;s Power Players series, she shared timeless wisdom, distilled from the crucible of the kindergarten playground. &#8220;Billy wouldn&#8217;t get off the swings,&#8221; she said, addressing a room full of aspiring politicians and policy makers. &#8220;No one wants to [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>Oxygen Addicts Experience Extreme Withdrawal Symptoms in Health Study</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/oxygen-addicts-experience-extreme-withdrawal-symptoms-in-health-study/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 10 Nov 2024 03:33:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Miscellaneous]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=643</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Researchers at Garbridge University have long known about the prevalence of oxygen addiction among the general population. In a study exploring how to help individuals break their breathing addiction, they have found that breaking the habit is harder than some had hoped. &#8220;Many volunteers experienced extreme withdrawal symptoms when deprived from oxygen.&#8221; Explained the research [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>New Theory Explains Why Australians Don&#8217;t Fall Off Planet Earth</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/new-theory-explains-why-australians-dont-fall-off-planet-earth/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Nov 2024 14:59:11 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Research]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=330</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s common knowledge that Australia is upside down. What&#8217;s not common is an understanding of why the people &#8220;down under&#8221;, and all Southern Hemispherians, don&#8217;t fall into space. A Garbridge University professor now thinks they have the answer. In a groundbreaking paper published in the Journal of Applied Antipodean Physics, Professor Sarah Wellington proposes that [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>Unable to Resist Thumbs Up Photos? You&#8217;re Not Alone. Bacteria May be the Answer.</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/thumbs-up-photos-make-products-irresistible-says-marketing-researcher/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Nov 2024 06:43:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Research]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=292</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[In a surprising discovery that bridges microbiology and marketing, researchers at the Institute for Evolutionary Consumer Studies have found that humans may be genetically predisposed to purchase products advertised with &#8220;thumbs-up&#8221; gestures, thanks to our bacterial ancestors. &#8220;It&#8217;s quite remarkable,&#8221; says Dr. Sarah Chuck, lead author of the study. &#8220;When people see a thumbs-up in [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>University Launches Animatronic-Taxidermy Program</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/university-launches-animatronic-taxidermy-program/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 Nov 2024 08:11:24 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Research]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=54</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Garbridge University proudly introduces its pioneering Animatronic-Taxidermy Program, combining traditional preservation techniques with advanced robotics. Our innovative program creates lifelike exhibits that engage audiences through gentle, natural movements and scientifically accurate representations. &#8220;Mr. Whiskers has been so well-behaved lately,&#8221; notes satisfied research subject Dorothy Simmons, 87. &#8220;He doesn&#8217;t scratch the furniture anymore, and he&#8217;s really [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>Garbridge Dumpies Blaze Through Badminton Championship Match</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/garbridge-dumpies-blaze-through-badminton-championship-match/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Oct 2024 06:12:13 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Athletics]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=1052</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[The Garbridge University Badminton Team, affectionately known as the Dumpies, ignited the courts with a scorching 6-1 victory against Westbrook College in Saturday&#8217;s regional championship. The win marks their most impressive performance this season, with their signature dumpster fire mascot blazing proudly from the sidelines. Team captain Sarah Chen led the charge with a commanding [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>Students Protest by Studying During Finals Week</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/students-protest-social-injustice-by-studying-during-finals-week/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 05 May 2024 05:43:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[University Life]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=293</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[While finals week is normally a time to party with friends, get extra sleep, and look for excuses to procrastinate, these students decided to use their time differently by occupying the Garbridge University Library. &#8220;Part of the college experience is showing solidarity with those who are oppressed,&#8221; said a university junior who asked not to [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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		<title>Statement from President Candice B. Rheel About SEC Expansion</title>
		<link>https://www.garbridge.com/statement-from-president-candice-b-rheel-about-sec-expansion/</link>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Admin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Aug 2023 07:10:07 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Athletics]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.garbridge.com/?p=52</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE The Southeastern Conference&#8217;s failure to extend membership to Garbridge University can only be interpreted as a clear manifestation of competitive cowardice. While certain institutions busy themselves with mundane pursuits like football, they deliberately avoid confronting true athletic excellence. Our dominance speaks for itself: fifteen consecutive national championships in competitive hot dog consumption, [&#8230;]]]></description>
		
		
		
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